Good afternoon gentlemen, it's good to be back. I know, I know...it's good to 
have me back. You don't have to be so sentimental and emotional, I was only gone for two weeks! 
That being said, the Commish will be gone again this weekend as he heads to Chicago to run in the Urbanathlon. I'll be sure to get a good look at the stadium that houses the NFC Central division leading Chicago Bears as part of the course involves running the stairs at Soldier Field. I fully expect Dan Hampton, Wilbur Marshall, Otis Wilson, Steve McMichael and the rest of the '85 defense to be standing by at the entrance of the stairs forming a human tunnel and cheering on yours truly. Ok, maybe not.....but maybe I can offer Matt Suhey $25 and a free Whopper coupon to come by and give me a high-five!
Alright, e
nough of that. Let's get back to some fantasy football. Some interesting things have happened the last few weeks and as injuries begin to mount up in real life, some player's fantasy teams have been nearly wiped off the map. Right, Bob? Team Airborne has been absolutely grounded as injury after catastrophic injury have claimed almost all of Bobby O's sub-average players! Don't worry Bobby, the Toilet Bowl still pays out $50!
Oh, by the way, the league leader after 5 weeks is.................Wes! Yeah, Wes Hall. Am I surprised by this development? In the words of Clark Griswold, I wouldn't be more surprised if I woke up tomorrow with my hair sewn to the carpet!!!! I guess that text I got two weeks ago from Sean that he "owned" this league may have been a little premature.......again (remember last year when he dubbed himself a Fantasy Mensa Memeber.......how did that work out????). Anyways, let's get to last weeks' highs and lows.......here's how things looked from where I sat.
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Stud of the Week
Our stud last week was Kos as team Knuckles beat TRAUMA by 42 points and scored a 212. Ironically, TRAUMA would have beaten any other squad last week except Knuckles! I guess that's how things go when you are 1-4. Kos managed to roll even though he was starting two 3rd string receiv
ers in Demaryius Thomas and Brad Smith (I'm thinking the Brad Smith from the group Blind Melon may have been a better play
....or the little, chick in the bee costume from their music video), thanks to monstrous afternoons from Malcolm Floyd, Tony Roomo, and Matt Forte (Is it just me or do Malcolm, Tony, and Matt sound like three guys that probably attended the same school as Carlton and Will on the Fresh Prince of Bellaire?). Kos used this victory to move to 4-1 and right into the hunt for the regular season championship. Oh, and don't forget that it was his little buddy, Andy, that he knocked out to move into that position......
have me back. You don't have to be so sentimental and emotional, I was only gone for two weeks! 
That being said, the Commish will be gone again this weekend as he heads to Chicago to run in the Urbanathlon. I'll be sure to get a good look at the stadium that houses the NFC Central division leading Chicago Bears as part of the course involves running the stairs at Soldier Field. I fully expect Dan Hampton, Wilbur Marshall, Otis Wilson, Steve McMichael and the rest of the '85 defense to be standing by at the entrance of the stairs forming a human tunnel and cheering on yours truly. Ok, maybe not.....but maybe I can offer Matt Suhey $25 and a free Whopper coupon to come by and give me a high-five!Alright, e
nough of that. Let's get back to some fantasy football. Some interesting things have happened the last few weeks and as injuries begin to mount up in real life, some player's fantasy teams have been nearly wiped off the map. Right, Bob? Team Airborne has been absolutely grounded as injury after catastrophic injury have claimed almost all of Bobby O's sub-average players! Don't worry Bobby, the Toilet Bowl still pays out $50!
Oh, by the way, the league leader after 5 weeks is.................Wes! Yeah, Wes Hall. Am I surprised by this development? In the words of Clark Griswold, I wouldn't be more surprised if I woke up tomorrow with my hair sewn to the carpet!!!! I guess that text I got two weeks ago from Sean that he "owned" this league may have been a little premature.......again (remember last year when he dubbed himself a Fantasy Mensa Memeber.......how did that work out????). Anyways, let's get to last weeks' highs and lows.......here's how things looked from where I sat.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stud of the Week
Our stud last week was Kos as team Knuckles beat TRAUMA by 42 points and scored a 212. Ironically, TRAUMA would have beaten any other squad last week except Knuckles! I guess that's how things go when you are 1-4. Kos managed to roll even though he was starting two 3rd string receiv
ers in Demaryius Thomas and Brad Smith (I'm thinking the Brad Smith from the group Blind Melon may have been a better play
....or the little, chick in the bee costume from their music video), thanks to monstrous afternoons from Malcolm Floyd, Tony Roomo, and Matt Forte (Is it just me or do Malcolm, Tony, and Matt sound like three guys that probably attended the same school as Carlton and Will on the Fresh Prince of Bellaire?). Kos used this victory to move to 4-1 and right into the hunt for the regular season championship. Oh, and don't forget that it was his little buddy, Andy, that he knocked out to move into that position...... Next time you may want to choose your battles a bit more wisely, Andrew! Check out the goofy look on Kos' face after this KO!
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Dud of the Week
Alright, Noon, this is getting to be a bit ridiculous! It seems like every time I sit down to type
this blog, there you ar
e with the low score of the week. This week, only 4 of your starters managed to crack double-digits and you are starting BOTH Devin Hester and Dexter McCluster. Are you a fan of undersized receivers with dreads or do you just like to jam to Bob Marley and the Whalers? Well, I got news for you, Mr. Noon.....every little thing is NOT gonna be alright! This team is disgusting! You got outscored by a guy that didn't even play a defense! I get more nauseous looking at your squad than I do watch this video of Andrew Bogut.........At least Bogut's arm will heal....your team is gonna continue to suck out loud!
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Fut the Whuck of the Week
You've upset a few of the people that just love to be upset, Don Comes. Nobod
y wants Wes getting a free ride into
the league lead, let alone the Siskel and Ebert of fantasy football. I would have gladly picked up a defense for you this week if you had asked, but the commish can't blindly pick up a free agent for you (I can move around guys that you already have on your team, but adding a player on my opinion of who I think you should have would be unfair). Ten points would have given you a victory and sent Wes to 3-2 which may or may not have been achieved from a defensive pick-up, but now we'll never know. Oh, by the way, Sweat called.....he wanted to give you some advise on managing a fantasy team.I found a guy on-line doing his best Don Comes impression.......
.......my man, put down the Captain Mogan's, pick up the mouse, and make some moves!
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Well, that's it for this week, boys. I'll be back next week to update the status of this league and the 5-1 Bears (as long as Todd Collins doesn't get into the game)! I'm outta here like a MMS text sent from Brett Favre......wanna see my junk?????
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