Week 6 Update

Good afternoon, men. Another week of fantasy football has come and gone and things appear to be pretty close to the same as they were last week. There was a change at the top of the leaderboard as Wes dropped to #3 with a loss, but most spots stood pat during what can only be described as a lack-luster fantasy week.

On the NFL front, however, things were a bit more exciting as apparently each and every defender set out on Sunday to decapitate at least one player from the opposite team. Head-hunting was the order of the day as fantasy star after fantasy star dropped to the ground and the commenced to perform the worst rendition of the "cabbage patch" dance ever (Hey, Desean....your dance moves are a bit stiff. You gotta loosen up, my man).

On a even sadder note, the Bears managed to drop their second game of the season to the surprising S'wawks from the upper northwest. This was due in large part to the Bears' O-line disappearing yet again like Manny dipping in behind the green monster for a mid-game pee break. At this point, I'm thinking five of those inflatable punching bags with the sand-filled bases would offer more protection than the five broke-dicks that Chicago runs out there every Sunday....

Enough with the complaining, already. Let's talk some fantasy football. Here's how things looked from where I sat.......
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"Big Jim Stud" of the Week

Our stud this week comes to us courtesy of the man that is so creative that his team name remains the name of his keeper....Team Chris Johnson. Yeah, we get it Sean....you will have a great team until Chris Johnson gets hurt because you were lucky enough to draft him the the late rounds three years ago. Change your team name! I've got some suggestions.....how about Team "I log 9.5 hours on the computer a day, minimum" or the "Carpal-Tunnel" Squad???? Just some ideas.

Sean was high scorer this week thanks to other-worldly performances from Kevin Kolb and Ryan Torain, both of whom nearly doubled their predicted values. There haven't been two guys come from out of nowhere and gain quick success like that since those two bald, German guys from "Right Said Fred" told us how sexy they were. Hopefully, Sean isn't too sexy to win in the playoffs (again)!

I'm pretty sure we will see Sean's team in the playoffs.....that is unless he injures himself in some freakish way....like patting himself on the back! "Great job, Sean."
"Thank you, Sean! You do excellent work yourself!"
Let us know if your arm gets tired....we can help you with that!



Why is Styx at that party getting whipped?????
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Turd of the Week

The turd this week comes from the exact same matchup that gave us the stud as Wes only managed to post 113 pts against Sean. Wes fell prey to ineffectiveness (Miles Austin), injury (Antonio Gates), bad RBs (Shonn Greene and Green-Ellis), and sheer desperation. What was so desperate about his line-up, you ask? Check out his second QB slot! You know what it says? Yep, Tim Tebow! Wes slotted in the Orange Jesus hoping to get a rushing TD or some other sort of mickey-mouse points out of Timmy......and HE DID!!!! Unfortunately, the rest of the Rug DRs went AWOL as they got worked over by 84 pts.

It was a rough day in the Hall household. Check out this video of Wes trying to climb out of bed Sunday morning.......


......I'm not sure what I was supposed to be seeing there, Wes, but it sounded like hell on earth!
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"The Situation" of the Week

The Situation of this week comes from "The Situation" of this league......the Commish! The Commish got a solid week from his group this week. There were no big stars, to be sure, but had a respectable 133 going into the Monday night affair. Standing in the way of the Commish and victory was Noon and his band of overachieving WRs (Gaffney, Wallace, Bess, and Hester had all outscored their projections) as the Panthers had opened up a 9 pt lead with no players left to play. The Commish, however, had waiver-wire hero Kenny Britt left to go with a shotty JAX defense on the other side of the ball. What transpired was pure poetic justice as the Titans drove down the field on their first series that culminated with a TD pass from VY to............Kenny Britt! Ten points on the opening drive a victory was sealed. And it was a good thing, because Britt caught exactly ZERO passes the rest of the game........hello, 3-3!!!!

That must have stung, Nooner. Did it feel anything like this?...........



Classy!
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Well boys, the Commish has the retire back to his den to figure out a way to win again this week.....it's rarely a challenge! I hope this week finds you all well as I haven't heard from many of you recently. The playoff picture is still very unclear at this point with 11 of the 12 team still within a game or two of each other so keep plugging away and I'll talk with you next week. I'm outta here like the guy that was supposed to be fixing this sign........