to the update, boys. It was kind of an up-and-down week for the Commish this week as the Bears lost yet another game in embarrassin
g fashion and no longer even appear on the "in-the-hunt" column for the playoff picture. On the other hand, the Commish enjoyed spending another Thanksgiving with family and friends at Casa de Sunto followed by a few drinks (or more than a few) at John's Corner Bar. Also, on the positive side, the Commish was able to wrap up a year long tou
rney with a 6 point effort on Sunday night and use a generous donation of $550 from 19 other players to earn a seat at the 2010 World Series of Poker in Vegas. I would like to send out a thank you to Chris who was one of the donatees......how'd that A-Q suited work out against my holed crowns????? Ah, there's always next year kid!----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In our first game of the week, the Commish took another loss on the chin, Racheal Ro
xx style, as Robert rolled to 
a 19 point win. The Utes got great days from rookie sensation "Never Nervous" Percy Harvin, the San Diego D, and Timmy Hightower (who just keeps coming back week after week, kinda like the Hightower in the Police Academy movies.........soon Timmy will be ripping the front seat out of his compact car and start driving from the back seat!) but was undone again by Cutler who threw his 20th INT in 11 games. Can somebody get that guy a GPS and/or some lasik surgery????On Robert's side, his rag-tag band of WRs all had decent days to help pick up Carson Palmer who came up with a major disappointment against the
JV team from
Cleveland. But the majority of Robert's points came from fantastic days from (of all people) Alex Smith and Fred Jackson. Never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed those two guys would be the two players to beat me. On my list of guesses, Alex Smith and Fred Jackson would have fallen just below James Todd Smith (Ladies Love Cool James!) and Alan Jackson as a "Smith/Jackson" duo that would send me to 6-6! Damn it!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In our next faceoff, Sean gave Andy a loss that was reminiscent of the 73-0 spanking t
hat the 1940 Chicago Bears gave to the Washington Redskins in the NFL Championship game (you were at that game, weren't you, Sean?). Sean had 6 players that scored over 20 points each which was plenty to compensate for an off day from Ocho-Cinco. Wait a minute.... shouldn't his name really be Ochenta-y-Cinco???? Child, please! This victory was enough to send Sean sailing into first place with only one week to go in the regular season....only the dream killers from Team Bulldog (more on that later) stand in the way of Sean's guaranteed $100 for the regular season championship.Andy had quite an off week as his squad managed inferior days on almost all fronts (minus the resurgent VY) capped off with the slotting in of Daunte Culpepper as a starting QB. Dude, don't you have a computer? A TV? A radio? Stafford started and was announced as the starter about an hour before game time. Call the Commish if you are in a tight spot...I can change lineups. This move left me scratching my head about as much as when Rafeal Furcal was asked about Manny Rameriez coming back from suspension...........................
Ok, Raffy just a few questions about your interview.
1. Everybody is happy to get Manny's bag????
2. You are in THE 4th place???? Who is in THE 3rd place?
3. What in the world does "Everyone wants something to know" mean?????
4. What in the holy hell do you say in the last 16 seconds of this clip after the reporter asks you if it's difficult to do??????????
Man, I love these Spanish baseball player clips! Hours of entertainment!
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Wes was able to secure his 5th win of the year as he battered the auto-pilot team formerly owned by Sweat. This game didn't leave much to be commented on as both teams struggled to get over the 100 point barrier, but it did remind me of two small children playing together and one taking advantage of the other's stupidity..........In this clip, the part of Charley will be played by Wes and the role of the slow, older brother by Sweat. Watch closely at the end as Wes realizes that he got one over on Sweat and snickers menacingly!
You should've learned the first time, Sweat, that anything that goes into Wes' mouth usually gets eaten! WESLEY BIT ME! AND THAT REALLY HURT!
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In the "I don't want to win, you can have it" "No, please be my guest, you can have it" game of the week, Sunto pounded Don into submission in this 118-111 victory! Ring the alar
m, s
ound the horns, bang the gong.....this was an old-fashioned, sent straight from the bowels of hell, shit-burger! 14 players on the combined teams scored in single digits highlighted by the inactive Kurt Warner who drew the start for Don's assembly of fuck-jacks! If this had been a celebrity boxing match, it surely would've been Dustin Diamond (Yeah, Screech from Saved by the Bell) against Ron Palillo (That's right, Horshack from Welcome Back, Kotter). Two weaklings squaring off against one another with one pencilneck just a bit less-feeble than the other cream puff! Do us a favor, gents....next time call this one a draw due to lack of interest/excitement/pulse! By the way, Sunto, Screech won that fight and you "won"this matchup.......I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'!-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In our next
matchup, Styx and Bobby squared off in the battle of the Co-Bros (Coker Brothers.....closely related to the Jo-Bros, known better as the Jonas Brothers!). Styx must have felt realllly good heading into Monday night as he had 2 QBs that had combined for .8 pts (hello, Sweat!) and still had Randy Moss to play while sporting a lead of about 47 points. But Bobby (whose first QB had scored a massive .7 when Delhomme threw 21 picks) still had Drew Brees to go. No way Brees outscores moss by 48 points...........right? Allow me to take you through Styx's thought process as this game went along:TD#1: That's ok....I've got a huge lead and can spare a point or two.
TD#2: Damn, guys, that dude was wide open. How about some defense.
TD#3: Shit....how about putting a body on those receivers!
TD#4: Fuck me!!!! Cover somebody you bunch of overpaid pussies!!!!
TD #5: Well, TD#5 lead to Styx doing this...............................................
Geez, Styx, it was only one game! I mean, it did cost you any shot you had at the league championship and the easy hundo, but did you really need to check the wax job on the floor with your teeth????
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Our last matchup featured the 6-5 Bulldogs against the 8-3 league leader, Kos. Things started off very well on Thanksgiving for Kos as Rogers came out firing with a 43 point day and helped Donald Drivers bring home 29. But that's about where the scoring stopped, as Housh, Cribbs, and Hasselbeck shit all over their bedsheets and the Cincy D could only come away with 6 points against the Clowns.
Chris took advantage of the low-scoring Sunday from Kos as the unlikely trio of Favre, Gates, and Forsett slammed out 110.38 combined points. All totaled, Chris ended up posting 210 pts (watch out, Sean, you're up next!) and left Kos' hope of winning the regular season title hanging from a thread. I'm not sure where you guys are from, but where I'm from, they call that a "choke job"!
Hey....what's that?.....the office phone is ringing.......it's for Kos.........Kos, a few people on the other end of the line would like to thank you........I'll be kind enough to list them for you:
The 2007 Mets would like to thank you for making everyone forget that they blew that 7 game lead with only 16 games left to play.
The 2004 Yanks want to thank you for erasing the memory of them being up 3 games to none in the ALCS and still losing the the Sox.
Greg Norman wants you to give him golf lessons.
Chris Weber thinks you should've taken a time-out.
Steve Bartman wants to give you a mitt and a first row seat at Wrigley.
Warren Moon and the 1992 Oilers want to you to play defensive back.
The 1986 Red Sox were wondering if you've ever played first base.
And Scott Norwood wonders if you would be his holder (laces out!).
For some reason, all those guys seem to think that you make them look good, Kos. After this bitter defeat Kos got together with a few "buddies", had a few drinks, and lamented his recent fall from grace. My camera was there to capture the action! Unfortunately, Kos got so hammered that he kept referring to other fantasy teams in this league by NFL team names, but you get the picture...............................................................
Hey, I sounded pretty good there at the end, didn't I?????
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Well, that's it for this week, boys. One more week to decide who is in the playoffs and who is in the Toilet Bowl. I will keep track of the Toilet Bowl so make sure your lineups are set. But if you're not good enough to get into the playoffs, you aren't good enough to get into the update, either. So get in or get passed over! I'm outta here like Tiger Woods.......Yes, baby. I'm sorry for sleeping with that waitress, but did you have to hit me and the car with that 7 iron?????
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