from last season and welcome in our newest guinea-pigs, Bill Noon and Bob Orwig. While I don't have particularly high hopes that either of these two will make this league any better, maybe one of these two turds will shine up nicely and surprise a few teams! (Get used to it, boys...that's how we roll in the updates.) That being said, you have probably recognized that the league hasn't been as chatty this year as it has been in 
seasons past. That is kinda by design as the the commish has a lot going on these days. Between getting ready for the baby, studying for the upcoming promotional test, and training for the Chicago Urbanathlon, the commish has been stretched pretty thin. Well two of these time constraints will be done by mid-October (the third won't be done for about 19 years....so about the time that one of P
laxico Burress' illegitimate kids is playing WR in the league!) so until time loosens up a bit, I am going to try to do a Mini-Update every week that I can squeeze it in. There won't be a full look at every game, but I'm going to go with a "Stud of the Week", a "Dud of the Week", and a "Fut the Whuck? of the Week". The first two will be fairly simple, using the high scorer and low scorer of the past week. The third category will be someone that caught my eye for all the wrong reasons and I feel that their ass-awfulness needs to be brought to light. So if you thought that you might be getting away with cruising under the radar with a suck-ass team for the first part of the year....you were dead wrong! Well......let's take a look at the first week in the Bearbackers league. Here's how things looked from where I sat.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stud of the Week
Our stud of the week performance comes from team "Chris Johnson" (hey, that's a damn creative name, Sean....how'd you come up with that????). A big day from Tom Brady and two monster days from CJ (yes, it was against Da Raiders, but it was still impressive.....2,500 yards anyone? ) and draft-day darling, Arian Foster helped off-set shit storms from No-Show Bowe
and Mr. Glass, Kevin Kolb. Although, let's be honest....team Johnson would not have needed those monster days from either back to beat up on team Jagermeifter as Chris got only 7 total points from Andre Johnson and Crabtree (ouch!). And, hey.......was that Clinton Portis and Justin Forsett in the same line-up???? Hello, Waiver Wire! Although maybe you should hold onto those guys, Chris....they both outscored DeAngelo!!!!
I came across a video of Sean as he was checking his final stat-lines.....................
I didn't know you spoke Italian, Sean!
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Dud of the Week
Our dud of the week comes courtesy of one of our newcomers as the Airborne Thugs
scored a measly 102 points, which would have been much worse if not for a 30 point output from the Colts eighth WR in Austin Collie. This first Dud of the Week may be the worst of the year as Bob plugged in a horrendous Jake Delhomme as his QB2, got a -1 out of his kicker and slotted in Golden Tate at the flex spot...........um, Bob, I'm not sure if you know this, but gameday inactives come out every Sunday morning. Guess who was on Seattle's gameday inactive list this week. Nope, not Ricky Watters. Nope, not Brain Bosworth. Yep.....Golden Tate. You can't score if you don't play! This contest was an all-out dick stomping as Bob took a load in the face and lost by 73 points.......a damn impressive showing in your first week! Get your trade offers ready, boys, because I believe the Airborne Thugs will soon be grounded!Here's what this matchup would have looked like if it was a fight between hockey fans......
Come on Bob....keep your shirt on!
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"Fut the Whuck" of the Week
Our inaugural "Fut the Whuck" award goes to my younger and less intelligent brother Andy who is th
e captain of team TRAUMA. Andy played 3 WRs this week, Mike Sims-Walker, DeSean Jackson, and Bernard Berrian...a decent core of WRs. That's is until you look at the stat lines. Those 3 WRS score a TOTAL of 5.4 points! I believe I could drive down to the local Home Depot and snatch up 3 guys that will work for $0.50 an hour and bring home more than 5.4! Even a decent game out of these three would have given Andy enough points to secure a week 1 victory as he only lost to Styx by 19. But I guess that's what happens when you play the "all-or-nothing" type guys.....or maybe we should rename them "nothing-or-nothing" type guys.I found a video of Andy opening up stattracker to take a look at his Sunday afternoon fantasy scores...........dude, don't check your scores while you are working out!
Hey man, keep your head up! It's only week one......but I sure am glad I'm 1-0 and not 0-1!
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There's yo
u mini-update for week 1 boys. I'll try to make it back in next week with another installment, so keep your teams updated and current or you may be next week's victim. I'm out of here like Matthew Stafford! Raise your hand if you are a fan of the Bears defense....that's alright, Matt, you don't have to raise that hand......we know you are!
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