So...here we go again! Yet another season of fantasy football is upon us and ready to kickoff. Six more months of Sundays spent by the TV rooting for second-string RBs and free agent WRs to break out in hopes that you could have found a guy who will be your keeper for the next five years. Or, if you are Andy, another six months of wondering how you are out of the running in month two and how you can pump up Kos' team so that he can at least finish third!
I just wanted to welcome everybody to the new forum for my updates. This is much easier for me than having to calculate how many characters I've typed and how many parts the updates have to be divided into on the message board on the league page. Plus, I now have the ability to post pix and vids so that hopefully I don't lose some of you with my more obscure references. It's alot of work, but I like to write them so I decided that I'll give it a go again this year.
But if I'm gonna go through all the trouble to write these things, I expect a little in return. That being said, I want an essay from all of you. The topic? Tell me why you belong in this league. Tell me why I should invite you back next year. Tell me why I let you come back here, year after year, just so I can kick your teeth in with my superior fantasy football knowledge. In short, tell me who you think you are...............................Ahhhh, nevermind, I'll do it for you. It would take you mouth breathers the entire season in order to come up with something that even comes close to being legible. Here it is......
Dear Mr. Utah,
We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole fantasy season in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us...In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain (Don).....and an athlete (Sunto)....and a basket case (Wes)...a princess (Andy)...and a criminal (Kos/Sean)...
Does that answer your question?
Sincerely yours, the Bearbacker League
Not bad if I do say so myself....and I do say so myself! I'm outta here like that civil suit being filed against Big Ben by that whore!!!! Yo, Ben....bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks! Right????Ah, forget it...I don't think he's listening!
No comments????
ReplyDeleteAlthough Mr. Utah said we did not have to post reasons as to why we do this fantasy league of his, I decided I couldn't keep my reasons a secret anymore........
ReplyDeleteI am soley in the league because of the Officer...er.....Ego-maniac....er......Commish that runs this fine establishment. Where others may try to live up to his lofty expectations, they all fall short. He should be all of our inspiration when working out, trying to go that extra mile or just plain living our lives. As a matter of fact, I often find myself looking in the mirror wishing I was nearly as in fit or chiselled as Mr. Commish. He commands respect from everyone, even helpless strippers can't deny him and his anal seeking ways. "Don't put my finger in there?!?!? How about 8 & 1/2 more you filthy tramp!!" And when things really get bad and I need a pick me up, I can always just pop in a video of a young and not so ripped Sllew. Doing his best Marky Mark impression and dazzling the camera. Why he didn't follow a career in music, I'll never know. No shirt on, with a peach fuzz porn stache.......its almost hypnotic the way he makes love to the camera....I can hear him now....."COME ON, COME ON........FEEL IT, FEEL IT!" Just leaves me wanting more.
But as for the criminal comment about Sean and I, we have never been caught or convicted of anything, Officer. But if being fun and entertaining to be around, having an obsession for DIRTY strip clubs around the world or just plain being awesome..........then get OUT your handcuffs and come arrest us......just please come shirtless!